korku

-
Söyleyemediğim şeylerin ruhumu yavaşça

hücre hücre ele geçirmesinden

hissedemediğim şeylerin bir anda bana geri gelmesinden korkuyorum


Kaybettiğim her şeyi hatırlamaktan

bastırdığım her üzüntüden

her yastan

her kızgınlıktan bir anda nasibimi almaktan


Ölmekten


Hayattan istediğim şeyleri alamamış olarak

ne istediğimi bilmemekten

yaşamamış olarak ölmekten


Başkası için isteklerimden vazgeçmekten

unutmaya çalıştığım her şeyi 

aslında unutamamış olduğumu fark etmekten korkuyorum


Bir gün yanımda kimsenin olmamasından korkuyorum

Hiç aşık olmamaktan korkuyorum

Veda edememekten korkuyorum

Ufacık bir dokunuşun bile beni paramparça etmesinden

Sonunda dağılmaktan korkuyorum


Hayatın ne kadar kısa oldugunu fark etmekten

dokunduğu yerde iz bırakmamış biri olarak yok olmaktan korkuyorum

Her şeyden bu kadar korkuyor olmaktan korkuyorum 

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